Day 20

Today's passage - Mark 15:30-39

³³ Now when the sixth hour had come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour. ³⁴ And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” which is translated, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” ³⁵ Some of those who stood by, when they heard that, said, “Look, He is calling for Elijah!” ³⁶ Then someone ran and filled a sponge full of sour wine, put it on a reed, and offered it to Him to drink, saying, “Let Him alone; let us see if Elijah will come to take Him down.” ³⁷ And Jesus cried out with a loud voice, and breathed His last. ³⁸ Then the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. ³⁹ So when the centurion, who stood opposite Him, saw that He cried out like this and breathed His last, he said, “Truly this Man was the Son of God!”

This scripture has significant meaning to me. At different times in my life I have felt loneliness, no one cared, it was just me all by myself. When I got saved, I remember reading about how Jesus was the perfect High Priest in that he was tempted in all parts just like me. When I thought about that, there was one area that I doubted. Jesus had always been in the presence of God the Father. They were always together. So how could he understand and relate to me when I felt lonely and all alone. Then I read this scripture. I then realized the great loneliness that Jesus felt. Far greater than anything I had ever felt. When he endured the beating and mocking, God was with him. When he dragged the cross up to Calvary, God was with him. When they put the nails in his hands and feet, God was with him. As he hung on the cross, God was with him. But when my sin was put on Jesus, God had to leave. For the first time ever, Jesus was totally alone! The oneness with God the Father was not there. Jesus knew this moment would happen and the pain was unbearable. Yet, so that I might have life through him, Jesus paid the price and experienced the ultimate loneliness!

I will never pay the kind of price that Jesus did for my sin. But I always want to remember and know that he did pay that price and I want to do all I am asked for his kingdom as a way to express my love and gratitude.

Day 19

Today scripture is Mark 14:3-9

³ While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head. ⁴ Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume? ⁵ It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages and the money given to the poor.” And they rebuked her harshly. ⁶ “Leave her alone,” said Jesus. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. ⁷ The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. ⁸ She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. ⁹ Truly I tell you, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”

As I was looking over the 9 different questions to ask myself as I meditated on this scripture, I found "Is there an example to follow?" the one that popped out for me. This passage does not give the woman's name or her circumstances or even why she did what she did. And yet Jesus says that wherever the gospel is preached this story will be told! So what about this story is an example to me?

What I get so far is apparently this woman knew who Jesus was. The time is just before his death (though no one knew this but Jesus). She must have been prompted by the Holy Spirit to take this very expensive anointing oil and pour it over Jesus. Probably felt awkward and unsure about the prompting. She probably knew it might cause a big scene or commotion. She knew she had spent a lot of money to get this oil. But in spite of all her misgivings and logic, she was obedient.

The result was she is memorialized in scripture. Apparently it is a very big deal to God to find someone obedient.

So I ask myself, am I obedient when I am prompted by the Holy Spirit especially when it appears to make no sense and especially when I might be embarrassed or misunderstood?

The example is there in Mark 14:3-9. Father, may I always be obedient like the woman!

Day 19

This passage I had to use the pronounce it method to fully grasp the whole picture. We know this woman to be Mary from reading John and knowing that we know she wanted to be with her Master. Made me think of Riqui and Ben. When its their birthday or any other special occasion for that matter, I really put thought into what I get them. To me, the price is of no significance but quality is. To me, they deserve the best. Jesus was about to die on the cross for our sins in 2 days and she gave Him her "best" gift. She gave Him her all. Then I got deeper into that and took it to the church. The bible tells us to give one tenth of our earnings and most of us do. But Mary gave her all. Made me scratch my head a bit as I drowned in my chair of shame. I realized in my heart I should give my all. Yes I tithe but if I just see it like that, what sets me apart as a Christian woman? I should be glorifying God more with my gifts . Do people actually see and hear Jesus in my attitude and actions, and as Paul told the Corinthians that “Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else.” (2 Corinthians 9:13 NIV) Sounds like everyone at that table was a little too comfortable. We think that just cuz our lives are going good then God is happy. We eat while others are starving. We laugh while others can use you for prayer. It's more than just the cost of the perfume. It's servanthood. It's doing something special for the One you love.

Day 18

Today's scripture (Mark 11:25) is about we must forgive to be forgiven.

"And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses (Mark 22:25-16)

As I was using the Probe method and asking the questions as I meditated on this passage the two questions that really hit me the most were: Is there an attitude I need to change and Is there a command I need to obey.

I can fall into the attitude that I need God to forgive me even of my most rebellious actions and thoughts. And yet, at times I do not extend the same to others. I find it hard to forgive when someone intentionally hurts me. I would much rather let them simmer in my heart and I review over and over the injustice and how could they. This scripture says that if I want God to forgive me of my hurt to Him, I must first forgive those that have hurt me. This is not only an attitude adjustment but also a command. I must extend the same grace to others that He has extended to me.

I realize that I don't have that kind of grace. I realize I can only do this with the grace God extended to me. I must be convinced that God is bigger than any hurt or injustice done to me.

Father, please bury that truth in my heart and life and let me always extend your grace to others just like you did to me.

Week 3

I am committing to really be more consistent reading and posting. The Holy Spirit really convicted me as I was preparing the message for Sunday.

So keep me accountable.

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Day 14

Mark 7:31-37

Unfortunately, I related to the deaf mute man. I say this because I have a hard time listening to God when he is trying to speak to me. I get so caught up in myself that when God speaks it is as if I put my fingers in my ears so that I cannot hear his voice. Of course I feel so ashamed when I realize what I have done but time and time again I find myself deaf and unwilling to listen to the Lord as he speaks over me his words of encouragement and love as I choose my desires over His. Secondly, I feel like I am mute when it comes to the gospel. While I should be sharing it boldly and clearly it comes across more confusing and muddled. It is as if I am trying to share the gospel but it is not coming out clear at all and it looks more like a Sunday school answer or just plain watered down. I truly not only want to hear Gods voice I want to obey and proclaimed it. Maybe one day I will be more like the deaf man's friends by bringing the lost and broken to the feet of Jesus to be healed.

Day 13

Today's scripture was Mark 6:45-51, Jesus walking on water. I related more with the disciple in the boat than I did Peter. While Peter stepped out of the boat the other disciples were still in the boat and still very much terrified. I do not believe this story is at all about over coming your fears or "stepping out of the boat" but to realize that Jesus is Lord over all and deserves to be worshiped by all of creation. This is the part that I struggle with the most. God has demonstrated his power to me on several occasions. I may not have witnessed him feeding 5000, or walking on water and calming the seas but I have seen him work in my life in powerful ways. Like the disciples I still continue to doubt the power of God in my life by not allowing him to rule in all aspects of my life. I keep asking myself what is it going to take for me to be completely surrendered to Christ. If He is LORD over all then I must surrender all!

Day 11

Today the scripture is Mark 5:21-43. We have the story of Jesus being asked to heal a sick young girl and on the way, a women that has been sick for twelve years being healed by touching the garment of Jesus. Then the news that the young girl had died and yet Jesus continued and ultimately raised her up. Using the Picture It method we were asked to put ourselves in four different people's shoes.

Jairus - the man whose daughter was sick. As a father I am deeply concerned about my child's health that does not appear to be improving. I hear that Jesus is in the area and I have heard of all the great things he has done. I am convinced that he can heal my daughter. I have hope! When I meet him and tell him of my situation and request his help, he agrees! I am elated and my hope is high! Along the way, however, I get the news that it is too late - she has passed. My heart sinks and is very heavy. But Jesus reassures me to not be afraid, but to believe. I am not sure what to do or think. When we get to the house there is a lot of commotion. It is obvious that my daughter is dead! But again, Jesus speaks and reassures me. Then at her side, he asks her to wake up - and she does! My heart is overjoyed. Who is this Jesus? Truly he comes from God!

The Woman - I have been suffering with this blood issue for so many years I have lost count. No matter who I turn to for help, the result is the same: no better only worse. I am losing hope. I am depressed. Bitterness is beginning to set in. Then I hear about the man Jesus. He heals the sick by touching them. Many of my friends have told countless stories of what he has done and he is in town! Suddenly I feel hope rise up again in my heart and soul. I NEED to see him. I NEED to touch him. He is my answer and cure. The crowd is huge and thick, but I will press through. I NEED to touch him. There he is, just a few feet away. I must get near. There, I am close. I reach out and touch his garment! Something is happening. I feel something going on inside. I feel my strength returning. My skin is looking normal again! I have been healed!

The girl - I don't know what is going on. I have been very sick, in a lot of pain, and so very tired. The last thing I remember is everyone crying in sadness asking me to stay awake, to keep pushing on. But it was so hard. I couldn't stay awake! Now this man is standing over me, holding my hand. My mother and father are crying, but it looks like tears of joy and happiness. I feel rested, no pain, no fever. What has happened?

The disciple - So many people, it is hard to breath. How does he do this? We are going to try and go see a sick girl. It's been a long day, I would much rather we find a place to sit and rest. What a heart Jesus has! Now he's asking who touch him. Really? Look around - everyone has touched him. But wait, a woman is coming forward and explaining how she was healed of a twelve year sickness by touching his robe! He has to be the Messiah! Now we are being told the sick girl is dead - but Jesus still wants to go and appears to not be bothered by the news. What's happening? What is he going to do? We are in the house and the girl is truly dead. Maybe he is going to comfort the father and mother. But now Jesus is saying the girl is only sleeping? Now he is asking her to wake up! She is opening her eyes! She is alive! This IS the son of God, our Messiah!

My application: I want to live the faith that the woman and Jairus showed. I want to live my life where I know if I can just touch Jesus, he will heal my sicknesses - whatever they are (bad habits, physical sickness, bitterness) and live a life of faith where the things I love (people, dreams, etc.) are always available to Jesus' touch.